Monday night I’m in the dressing room getting ready for a dance class. I am talking to a woman who seems around my age. She mentions that she lives behind the Medical center, so immediately I think that she is a medical student. No, she tells me that her husband is studying there. When I ask what she does she tells me, with little enthusiasm, homemaker. To that the woman next to us answers, not just a homemaker though, with a laugh. She goes on to say that she takes care of their 10 month old. So, she is a full time mother.
What brought my attention to the matter was the woman who felt it necessary to say that she was not just a homemaker, as if there is something seriously wrong with this title. I started thinking what exactly it means to be a homemaker. When I think of this I think of a woman not employed to raise children. Raising children is a full time job and should be taken seriously. So why do we label these women as homemakers? Why shy around an important job? If a woman is raising children, when asked if they have a job why not say, I’m raising my children? 20 years ago being a homemaker was an acceptable role in society. For our generation this is no longer the case.
There is already a title for someone who takes care of a house, it’s called a maid. I don’t know of any woman who is unemployed to stay home and perform the duties of a maid. The entry for homemaker on Dictionary.com states: “a person who manages the household of his or her own family, esp. as a principal occupation.” This implies nothing of raising children.
I do not aspire to be a mother as a full time job. I have met women who do, and I’ll admit that I have thought negatively toward them for their decision. With the number of college grads growing I know I’m not the only person who holds those same feelings. But why? I was raised to get an education and have a career, not a family. Priorities have changed, roles reversed and now many family structures are changing.
The conversation I had the other night gave me a glimpse into a different perspective. I wonder what it must be like to be the minority as a full time mother. Is it difficult to gain the respect of others, even mothers that work? Nowadays being a full time mother isn’t an option for many. It is difficult to support yourself on one income. This creates an expectation that both parents will work. If not, they might be judged and unable to identify with the new generation. I believe that children need to be nurtured at a young age and it is difficult to give them the attention and instruction that they need when each parent works. I also believe that a family is lucky if one parent is able to stay home and perform that job.
I’ve realized that just because being a full time mother isn’t the right path for me doesn’t mean that it’s any less important of a job than people who work outside the home. I’ve seen that the confidence of raising a child is difficult to maintain when many people frown upon it. I would like to see parents who are raising children full time be able to say, “I’m raising my children,” with as much confidence as someone who says, “I’m running a business.” They deserve an equal amount of respect.
Super points!!
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